Spock's Resignation
by xXDark.Lord.MeloniousXx
Summary: Spock attempts to leave Enterprise, but Kirk isn't having any of that. SPORK, post-movie anndd stuff. :D :D :D :D M mostly for language and implied sexy times.
1. Chapter 1

**My first Star Trek fanfic! WOOT! **

**For Spock and Kirk, the men I've watched fall in love since I was in elementary school! XD**

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"Dr. McCoy,"

"Yes?" He asked tiredly.

"What am I?"

He sighed, "Captain,"

Jim laughed, "Hell yeah! Say it again,"

He stopped scribbling down a prescription for someone on the sickbay and looked to Jim,

"You're Captain, Jim,"

Jim laughed, punching his arm in what was meant to be a friendly gesture; had his friend not known that, he probably would have returned the favor violently. Jim's obnoxious ego was somehow endearing, though.

"Yes, yes, I am, Bones,"

He walked through the room, patting everyone he saw, asking over and over,

"What am I?"

"What am I?"

"What am I?"

"What am I?"

And everyone would reluctantly respond, "Captain,"

"Captain,"

"Captain,"

"Captain,"

He was gloating, his aura practically glowing with pride. He walked into the command deck, the only other one in the room being his first officer. He grinned, practically floating on his toes towards the Vulcan's back. Before he took a breath, though, his low, indifferent voice came out,

"Yes, Commander?"

"_Commander_?"

He heard the alien shift and he was soon facing the young man. His stoic expression always tickled Jim; there was something so wonderfully aggravating that it made him love it. It was strange how Jim always chased after whatever made him most frustrated. He loved a challenge, he supposed; a self-proclaimed emotionless Vulcan was just the thing to push his buttons too. Said Vulcan looked as detached as usual as he responded,

"I am sorry, but I do not have tolerance for any of your antics today as I am…" He looked away shortly, then blinked in the quick way he did when searching for the proper words before finishing, "I will not be on board today. It is a small mission, thus my absence is of no consequence,"

Jim frowned, "Wait, why?"

Spock ignored him, gathering a few more papers, "I was just finishing some work so your delivery will run smoothly this afternoon, Commander, and I am now taking my leave, if you have any inquiries I suggest you-"

"Why?"

Spock's young face did nothing in change if not stiffen more.

"I apologize, but I do not see how that at all applies to you,"

Jim scowled, "You know damn well why it applies to me,"

"I am sorry, but the relevance of my attendance to you, granted it does not affect the mission, still escapes me,"

Jim sighed, "Your, uh…counterpart told me that you and me were good friends where he came from…I…"

There was a silence and Jim was almost shaken with glee when he heard the curiosity in Spock's normally monotone voice,

"You what?"

"I…want that…for us…"

There was a heavy and awkward quiet. Jim glared, wielding his power,

"Tell me why you will not be on board today, Mr. Spock, that is a direct order from your superior,"

The First Officer looked back at Jim finally and responded,

"Very well, Commander. If you so wish to know, it happens that my romantic relationship came to a fairly abrupt and somewhat argumentative end the other night and I find that if I attend this mission today, I may act out on irresponsible emotions. I do not want to-"

"What happened?"

The alien sighed in aggravation, "You know, ever since meeting you, I have learned that you have a most annoying habit of talking over me before I complete my thoughts,"

Jim stepped closer, still not listening, "Well? What was it? You couldn't love her or something?"

Spock shook his head exactly once, "No, I can feel when it is called for, though I prefer to follow Vulcan tradition, but I am…"

"…what?"

"I… am ill,"

Those words had a terrible underlying meaning. Jim worried that it meant something awful, a Terms of Endearment awful. Not that Spock would ever understand that human reference regarding something from centuries before. It was by the grace of God that Jim actually was cultured enough in human and Terran history that he could quote and reference such things.

"What's, uhm…wrong?"

There was a short silence until Spock said, still unmoved,

"Nothing,"

"What?"

"I have changed my mind about telling you,"

Jim choked on an inhale, holding his chest as he tried to straighten out his trachea,

"W-why the hell not?!"

"It would be illogical. There is no need for you to delve any deeper into my outside needs from this ship, as long as my work does not suffer, then I do not—"

"This is an order, Mr. Spock. I am your Captain, and by Gods, I'll have my answers,"

Spock's pointed brows furrowed, exciting Jim.

"What do you want to know, Commander?" He had said 'Commander' in a tone that Jim was beginning to learn was Spock suppressing the urge to punch him.

"Why you and Lt. Uhura ended your…romantic relationship,"

"I have developed affection and sexual attraction to another being. I had always rejected her sexual advances, unable to fully justify those rejections until I found what it was that I wanted. It is unfortunate that what I wanted was not within her to give to me,"

Jim frowned, "That…is unfortunate. I'm sorry, Spock,"

"Do not be sorry for me, Commander, I was the one to end the relationship with little if no regret,"

"Then why are you taking off your station today?"

Spock looked away again, "I already told you this, I am-"

"You told me you might act out irresponsibly, Spock, on emotions, but you didn't say which ones…if you don't feel bad about Uhura, then why aren't you going to be here today?"

"Because I am…I have found that I cannot be your First Officer, and I have signed my resignation sheets. I plan on handing them in today,"

"What?" Jim begged as the alien began to walk away.

Jim blocked the exit with his arms spread,

"Who is it? I'll tell them to get off!"

He watched incredulously at the adorable, not-yet-surprised, but caught-off-guard expression that seemed to reluctantly melt onto Spock's face. Which meant both eyebrows went up.

"You would sacrifice another crew member to keep me aboard, Commander?"

"Yeah…I would, of course I would…so tell me who it is, I want you to stay,"

"I am sorry, Commander, but it would be impossible for you to rid the crew of this member,"

"Rid? Is she a pain in the ass? I'll kick her off!"

Spock sighed again, using his abnormal strength to push through Jim, only to have him follow. Jim seemed distraught, his palms and fingers spread out by his sides, watching with desolate horror as Spock's spidery fingers tapped in a different level; somewhere to drop his papers off.

"Spock! Tell me! Please, I don't wanna lose you!"

That was strange.

Jim would usually only use words like those when trying to convince a beautiful woman to sleep with him, or when he was lost in awful nightmares of missions gone horribly wrong. He was still so new to being a Captain; maybe it was his nerves. Perhaps losing the one seemingly stable figure in his life, the one unfeeling, never scared, never uncertain figure in his crew meant disaster to him. Like a mind-reader, the alien holding his papers behind his back, his chest out and face forward, muttered,

"You are losing your composure, Commander, do not be so horrified, it is undignified. It is not as if…"

He exhaled shortly, "It is not as if I do not…feel any regret, as if I do not feel any hesitation towards my decision, but I have to acknowledge that this is the best, thus only, route for the crew. I am sorry you feel so-"

"Bullshit. If you were really sorry, you wouldn't do this! Is it because of what I said about your mother, because you know I didn't mean, I mean, I didn't want to-"

"No, it is not about what you said about my mother. I understand you were doing only what was best for everyone, and by that simple situation saved all of our lives and countless others. I do not hold any ill will towards you because of that. My counterpart explained to me…I suppose it does not matter now. No matter the case, Commander, I am leaving my papers of resignation as I planned and there is nothing that you can say to change my mind now. And if you interrupt me one more time, I do not know how much restraint I will be able to—"

"Tell me, please, I'll…I'll do anything to keep you on board,"

Spock's ebony eyes traced over the human, momentarily seeming to weigh that option. However, he clearly dismissed it and returned with,

"Absolutely not. It is of no consequence to you and your leadership, thus does not affect the crew in any other way but aiding it in its efficiency,"

"…Spock…it's a guy, isn't it?"

He saw Spock's flesh turn a charming emerald under his eyes, his pupils seeming to shrink back, snapping as he swerved his head away,

"I have no idea where you would develop such a hypothesis, but I assure you, Comma-"

"I mean, you said you couldn't get hot for Uhura, which is just fucking ridiculous if you're straight, you said you developed new feelings for someone and it's apparently disturbing you so much that you have to quit your position as First Officer…you're so tied down to being perfect, I'm sure it just fucking kills you to be gay, that's why you'd get so upset…"

The Vulcan sighed angrily; Jim knew he had struck a nerve. He was onto something.

"Commander,"

"Call me Jim or something, Commander is getting old,"

He sighed again, "Jim…" He blinked curiously, "…Jim…"

"Yeah?"

"…that…must be the first time I have used that human name,"

"Really? You've never met a Jim before?"

"I have always addressed them as James, as it is more formal, so…I have just never used that human word before,"

"You like it?"

He nodded, facing forward again, apparently having rid his face of the bashful green.

"Yes. I do,"

"Well? Answer my question!"

"To address your first error, I never once said that I could not…" He exhaled angrily again, "as you say, 'get hot' for Uhura. Your second error is in that my own emotions disturb me. They do not disturb me as that would be absurd to be disturbed by one's own emotions and it would not be appropriate nor productive to—"

"So I was right about you being ashamed about being gay, though, right?"

Spock closed his eyes momentarily, seeming to try and meditate. That or gather all the fibers of restraint in his body to keep from killing his superior officer. There was nothing Spock hated more, after all, than people think that he, himself, thought lowly of himself for his nature. Whether he is judged with weakness or 'disadvantage' for being half human, or judged self-conscious for being homosexual.

"I am ashamed of nothing and if you are so backward that you believe I am lesser or should think of myself lesser than a heterosexual, I should have you know I take immense offense at—"

"You're quitting because you're gay?" He gushed, "Come on, Spock! Stay, I swear, I'll…"

In that moment, Spock, for the first time, showed concern. He did not like the silence that entered the elevator and did not like the look of realization dawning on his Captain's face. Spock watched, hands on his back in perfect posture, not hindering the Captain as he hit the halt button Uhura once used against Spock to keep him focused on her. She was the furthest person from his mind at that moment, though. He did not flinch or wince or move at all, didn't even blink as he inquired,

"You will what, Commander?"

"Commander again, aye?" He scoffed airily, turning towards Spock, eye-contact hard to keep, "…that means I've thought of something dangerously close to the truth or the exact truth you don't want me knowing. You want me to tell you what I've just realized?"

"If you so wish, Commander," He said as stoically as always.

Kirk's head was slightly bent, looking up at Spock from under the ridge of his forehead and beyond his lashes, his blue eyes accusatory,

"…It would not be possible for me…to rid the crew of this member…"

"Commander, if you would please press the descent button again, I really must drop these papers before departing, I have a pod waiting,"

"…unless I resigned…"

He looked to Spock's eyes, but the Vulcan refused to meet his,

"…the button, sir,"

"Answer the question, Spock,"

"There was no question, Commander,"

"You know what I'm asking, though,"

"I cannot know what you are asking of me unless you ask it of me, Commander,"

"Is it me?"

Spock's lips tilted uncharacteristically, pressing the descent button and as the sounds of rushing motion filled the capsule again, he muttered,

"Is what you?"

"…what am I to you?"

The doors finally opened to Spock's desired floor and before exiting with his half-hearted, out-of-place smile, he finished,

"You are my superior officer, Commander Kirk. My Captain,"

At this James T. Kirk actually blushed. Not only that, his heart fluttered like a skittish fangirl. He chased after the Vulcan, not even keeping his voice to a dull roar,

"Spock, but—wait,"

Almost everyone on the Enterprise had told him he was Captain, but never had it sounded so rich. That title had never sounded more fulfilling, more beautiful, sexy, amazing, honoring and flattering than when it fell from the Vulcan's full lips. He was turning corners, tailing the alien through the halls and all crew members they passed rubbernecked to watch the drama unfolding, though most of them only saw glimpses and heard only Kirk calling after,

"Spock, Spock! Spock, slow down, please don't!"

Jim jumped in front of Spock, well aware of the fact that at any time Spock's Vulcan strength could crush him, but with arms spread in defense, the alien took pity on him and halted in graceful time and position.

"Yes?"

"…God," He said out of breath, "…you are the most frustrating person I have ever fucking met,"

"Is that all?" He asked, shifting to the right.

At that motion, the Captain of the Enterprise pushed Spock against the wall, pinning him by his broad shoulders. He saw a flash of light green show itself on Spock's cheeks again and his stomach tickled with delight.

"Stay,"

"I will not,"

"Stay, Spock,"

"I refuse,"

"Stay, it's an order, damn it!"

Ordering people around like that, all high and mighty, and he was only just newborn into being a Captain, he wondered how used to it he'd get. He didn't know about that, but he knew he'd never need his authoritative powers more than this day. Spock cocked a brow,

"Fascinating,"

"What?"

"You follow me and give me orders, yet I am no longer your First Officer,"

"You're my First Officer until you drop those papers off,"

"I warned you far ahead of time that I had no time for your antics right now, Commander, and I do still stand by that. My departure pod is waiting,"

He turned around to see his crew members Sulu and Chekov returning from the Cafeteria. He looked at Chekov and ordered,

"Paval, get me a cord to the ship's speakers, immediately,"

"Da, Keptin," He ran off, returning less than five seconds later to give him a small metal device with three buttons on it.

"Thank you, Chekov,"

"No problem, Keptin, but, may I ask vut you are doing to First Officer Spock?"

"No, you may not, now leave,"

The ensign nodded and shrugged to his friend, leaving with Sulu, mutterings of evolving gossip never posing a threat to the great ego of James T. Kirk. He pressed the third button to the right, staring into Spock's eyes as he announced over all the speakers,

"All departure pods, unless for extreme emergencies, cancel and all navigators for said departure pods are ordered to report to their quarters until further notice. Kirk out,"

He clicked again and the sliding of doors and the roar of more voices rising in conversation sounded from left and right.

"What departure pod?"

Spock sighed,

"You really stop at nothing to get what you want,"

"I don't believe in no-win situations,"

"I am aware of this and fascinated by it. What would you like me to do, Commander? You know now that you have my full attention,"

"I want you to stay,"

"For what purpose?"

"To act out on irresponsible emotions, Spock,"

At this the young man stiffened under his hold, his eyes twinkling with something akin to shock or other human emotion that was not definable. He pushed Jim away, making him heave, and he almost dropped his papers,

"This is infantile, Commander, let me go,"

"Let you go!? Look, Spock, you're the best crew member there is! The best Starfleet member! If I could promote you, I would, but…eh, well, you know,"

"You are saying you would prefer your missions be at risk for failure because of me than my resignation?"

"How many other ways do I have to phrase that!? Yes! Stay!"

"This is highly illogical,"

"This isn't about logic, though, is it? Tell me, Spock," He began in the cocky way he had grown to love talking in, "What is logical about leaving someone that makes you feel good? You feel good around me, right?"

"Feel good? Do you mean 'well'? If so, my health is always more than adequate and logic overrules what you may refer to as 'bad' feelings at all times. There is no time to harp on my human side when on a mission. That, Commander, would be illogical, as it would compromise the safety and efficiency of the crew, thus mission, itself. That is why it is logical to leave the Enterprise and return to my station job at Starfleet. They have been requesting my return to the academy for a long while now, and I am finally honoring that request. I have signed the papers, Commander, there is nothing left to discuss,"

He began walking away again and in a desperate attempt to stop him, Kirk leaped forward, shoving Spock and him to the floor with a violent thud. The alien huffed under the man's weight. The hall was empty where they had landed, though voices could be heard close by.

"Commander, if you are attempting to attack me, I must give you fair warning that it would be a highly illogical choice. I am a combative enemy of which type you could never wish to defeat. My people have grand strength and although you are an extraordinary fighter, if I found it difficult to defeat you, I could cause you to fall unconscious again. I do not think I would drop you onto an uninhabitable planet again, however, at this present…angle, I would not hesitate to do so if I had such an opportunity,"

Jim scowled at the back of Spock's perfect, charcoal hair before muttering,

"Shut up. Now that's an order,"

He heard the young man sigh and begin talking again, probably going on about how illogical this was and all, but Jim became much more distracted with the sight of Spock's papers. They were still tight in his grip, his arms out in front of him on the cold floor, but within reach. Jim thought if he could just get the papers from Spock…

"Are you listening to me?"

He rushed forward and grabbed the papers, catching Spock so off-guard that it was taken from him successfully. Spock twisted around from under him, practically tossing Kirk off him, but his firm legs found themselves on either side of Spock's waist, nailing him down with his knees. He took the thick package of papers in his hands and took note of how Spock did not raise his arms in protest. There could have been only two reasons for that, Kirk decided. One being that Spock was contemplating how much pain he was about to inflict, in what way and when. The other being that Spock was as distracted as Jim at their abdomens crushed together.

"What do you plan to do?"

"Make you stay,"

"Do not do anything rash and do not be fooled that I will not report you if you so much as—"

"How long did it take to sign all of this, read through it all and put initials everywhere, huh?"

"…Commander?"

"Tell me, Spock,"

"…approximately seventy two point four hours,"

"Wow, more than three days worth of time put into these resignation papers, huh?"

"Commander, what are you planning?"

His control-callused fingers tightened around the top of the papers and the tear that followed made Spock's chest swell with aggravation and his composure melted away. There was very little in the universe that forced Spock to leave behind his Vulcan ways. James T. Kirk was one of those things. The Captain threw the ripped papers in the air and let them fall like confetti around them. He looked down at the alien, beaming triumphantly,

"Well, you're certainly not resigning today. I'd guess that the earliest you could resign now, would be…another, eh, three days, around-ish? That means you have no reason for not attending the mission today and you are my First Officer, damn it. I will see you in the Control Bridge, Spock,"

The Vulcan leaned on his forearms and watched the Captain leave him in a proud huff. He had much to think about.


	2. Chapter 2

"Captain, I'm picking up frequencies from a nearby planet. Planet name Hemera, uninhabited,"

"What frequencies are you claiming to have received if there is no one currently on the planet, Lt. Uhura?" Spock asked stoically.

The Captain knew she would be aggravated; she had addressed Jim, after all, and Spock's cool and indifferent voice could always prove to be a painful arrow through one's heart. Jim pursed his lips, turning his chair slightly towards the lieutenant, ignoring the heavy silence,

"Your point, Lt. Uhura?"

"The frequencies are not coming from a living thing, but from neighboring planets far from this star, are sending out messages to all near ships to warn them that there is going to be a supernova. No one is in danger, all living environments currently inhabited are at a safe distance and considering our mission was so short today and we have time enough to see it…would…you…like to see the explosion, Captain?"

Spock froze next to Jim. No one could tell, Jim knew that. Jim knew Spock in a way no one else did, which was strange considering he knew no more than anyone else about the Vulcan. There was something about his air, though, that he knew he could read better than anyone else. Perhaps because he had mind-melded with him, the other him. He stopped his thoughts there, otherwise he'd give himself a headache. He turned his chair, looking up at his stiff, broad-shouldered First Officer,

"Mr. Spock…are you well?"

"My health is in all ways perfect, Commander,"

"Emotionally?"

The crew silenced. What the fuck?

"I am only just aware that this invitation to see the supernova is meant to pose an emotional attack on me,"

Before Jim could ask how he could know something like that or why he was so upset about it, Uhura scowled and barked,

"Why would I waste effort on trying to make a **Vulcan** feeling anything?!"

"You wasted over a year trying to make me feel human emotions," He cocked a brow, not looking up from his clipboard as he jotted down notes, "I would not put it past you to try and make me feel anger,"

Jim cringed at the feeling of her frustration spike in the surrounding atmosphere,

"You promised me you were going to resign today! What are you doing here, then!?"

"You promised **her** you'd resign?" Kirk asked, twisting back towards Spock.

The alien was now looking at his ex-lover, his stance stiff and strong.

"And I do recall a promise you made to me concerning a supernova. You are fully conscious of the fact that I have an emotional attachment to the phenomenon and you are fully conscious as to what reasoning is behind that. I therefore know you are aware of the affect it will have on me," He looked down to the Captain, "Indeed, Commander, I did tell Lt. Uhura that I would resign today, but seeing as you ripped up my resignation papers as I went to drop them off, I found it rather hard to do so,"

"You what?!" She snapped at Kirk.

He looked to her, shrugging, "I wasn't about to let him just walk out!"

"Why the hell not!? He tried to kill you!"

"That is true, Commander," Spock cocked a brow, "I did dump you on an uninhabitable planet without any knowledge as to whether you were properly equipped to survive long enough to wait for help,"

"And you choked him," Bones mentioned from beyond his clipboard.

Jim sighed as Uhura glared and huffed and Spock agreed,

"That also is true, I did intend to kill you when I suffocated you for questioning my love for my mother,"

Jim rubbed his temples, "Okay, so Spock tried to kill me once or twice, what friends don't?"

"Oh, so it **is** average for anyone who associates with you to contemplate homicide?" Bones joked.

Jim pouted, "Shut up,"

He sighed and looked to Spock, "You're staying aboard, Spock. I don't want another First Officer, even if he did…try to…kill me…alright, look, everyone, Spock's apart of this crew and no one," He looked at Uhura, "Is taking him off this ship. And so help me God, if I find out you've been holding something over his head as blackmail, Lt. Uhura, I will not hesitate to report you,"

She seethed, but Navigator Sulu interrupted soon enough to break the horrid tension,

"So…should we…go to see the supernova, or what?"

Jim looked to Spock for a nod of approval and he was happy to see it; just one nod, but it was positive and that's all that counted. Jim smiled and told Sulu,

"Yes, we're going. Go on ahead, to the supernova,"

Hikaru nodded, smirking a little and pushing at buttons, pulling at handles and sending them off.

* * *

Jim insisted that Spock stand beside him for the explosion by the Observation Deck. The gigantic wall-to-wall window allowed them to watch it perfectly in complete solitude. Spock followed the Captain, arms folded behind his back, his chest out proudly and eyes stoic and low until they came to a stop and he mimicked Kirk, stopping immediately and twisting to the side so his feet were centered and together, his eyes never meeting Jim's. He sighed,

"Can you tell me what you meant about the significance of a supernova to you emotionally?"

"That is not a place for a Captain to pry,"

"It is a place for a friend, though,"

Spock stiffened, "It is not a very exciting story, Commander. I dreamt of a supernova, and within the dream my subconscious revealed to me that I could no longer be romantically involved with Lt. Uhura. That is all,"

"…there's more to the dream than the supernova, then, right?"

"Indeed,"

"So, what happened?"

"It is not your place to know,"

"Just don't think of me as your Captain right now, just think of me as your friend,"

"You are not my friend," He finally faced Kirk, "You never were and never will be. That is not our universe. That is the reality of our counterparts, not us. I have much different emotions to deal with towards you,"

"I can't be your friend?" His brows curved.

"No, you cannot, sir,"

"…why not?"

Spock sighed, his eyes flickering with self-control; a strange, but readable expression. To Jim, anyway. He could see when Spock was holding back. It glimmered in his ebony eyes, what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do, but he never would.

"You were first and foremost my enemy and competitor, Commander. Someone I detested with every fiber of my being, after finding how underhandedly you defeated the Kobayashi Maru I suppose you can hypothesize the level of disrespect I had for you. However, as the new Captain of Enterprise, after saving of our lives, after truly proving yourself, I had a newfound respect for you and accepted you as my higher officer. From there on, though, I found difficulty in keeping my human side from considering you more than that,"

"…more than a Captain?"

"More than a friend,"

"I don't want you to run away, Spock,"

"I am hardly running away, Commander. I am doing what is best for you, best for myself and best for the crew,"

"Logically,"

"Of course,"

"But love isn't about logic, Spock,"

Spock's brows curved inwardly at the statement,

"Vulcans do not love,"

"You're not fully Vulcan, though," Jim smirked.

Spock looked away, his forehead relaxing as his eyes traveled back to the window.

"Enjoy the supernova, Commander,"

"I can't enjoy anything if I think you're leaving,"

Another strange moment.

Spock looked at him and gave that glimmer again.

"Fascinating,"

"I love it when you talk about me like I'm a specimen, really, it's so sexy, Spock,"

He watched green color Spock's cheeks as he cocked a brow and looked away again, as if to hide how embarrassed he was at Jim openly saying something like that about him.

"I realize you want me aboard to aid you intellectually, but attempting to jest at my troubling human emotions will not make me perceive you in any greater or kinder light. In fact, I am quite sure it will do the complete opposite,"

"Can you just talk regularly to me? I won't make fun of you, Spock, I was just…just talk like I talk, you know? It just always sounds like you're in the middle of a science experiment when you talk to me…I just want you to relax,"

"That would be most unwise, Commander. If I were to relax my restraints, we would find ourselves in an unsafe predicament,"

"Unsafe? Now that sounds like more my territory," He grinned, "Why's that?"

"Would you still care to hear about my dream, Commander?"

Jim's chest contracted oddly, his heart bumping faster at the sight of Spock shifting his face away in order to hide his slight smile. He closed his eyes, exhaling as if meditating, then opening them to look at the star before them. His full lips parted hesitantly and at the almost inaudible sound of their perfectly soft texture peeling apart Kirk's abdomen gave an unprecedented pulse of excitement.

"I am aboard the Observation Deck, nearing someone to kiss them. Before our lips meet, that image is repeated before a sunset on Earth, then at dusk on the red moon of Cereson, but I am soon alone on Vulcan. I look around, a feeling of…despair taking hold of me. I am alone again on the red moon of Cereson, alone at sunset on Earth and again, I find myself on the Enterprise. I am called by the one I was attempting to kiss out on one of the pods, alone. I find that my emotional response is nervousness and flattery, and it manifests in a rapid heart beat, increased blood flow to my face and hands and a smile. While in the departure pod, I attempt to kiss this person again, and images flash beyond our silhouettes; the land of the red moon of Cereson, Earth at sunset, the Observation deck and at the touch of our lips, a supernova matures and explodes from outside the pod, and I wake,"

"Who is it, in the dream…you're trying to—"

"Not Lt. Uhura, and that is what matters, Commander. I told her of my dream and told her that I held great regret finding it only logical to end our relationship. She did not react well and went on to yell at me about leading her on, and intentionally causing her pain. I told her that would too be illogical, and that…only seemed to upset her more. She stormed out of my quarters soon after that. That is why it is significant to me and to her,"

"I see…" Jim trailed off, looking back at the evolving, fiery star outside their ship.

"When do you know the supernova is about to finish? I mean…have you seen one before?"

"Yes, I have seen one. Once. It was a school trip. I went with my peers. The ending of a supernova is cued after a ring of blue light washes over a four light-year radius. It is in all ways harmless, but if one is too close to the ring when it expands from the star and is looking at its center, one may go temporarily blind. However, I believe Doctor McCoy would know more about that than myself if you are curious as to the health effects of a supernova,"

"Not so much. Are you still thinking of leaving?"

Spock turned to face Jim, his arms still folded on the small of his back, his chest still poised as perfectly as his board shoulders.

"If you mean to ask if I still intend on leaving the Enterprise to teach at Starfleet, I do. However, I need adequate time to file and sign my resignation papers again," He emphasized the last word as if to make Jim feel bad about it, even though Jim felt absolutely no regret for making Spock stay, and on a normal basis rarely felt any shame whatsoever. Spock continued, "I have taken note that you have made a habit of not interrupting me as much, though, and that you have considered my every opinion before taking action on the Command Deck, which is nothing short of an honor. You should be made aware that I have greatly enjoyed being your First Officer, but resignation is my only option now,"

"If I give into this, right? If I let you…go, Spock…can I come and visit you or attend your classes when I'm off-duty? Maybe force you out to a bar on my vacations?"

"That would be counterproductive, Commander," Spock glanced away momentarily, "I would not allow you to attend any of my classes nor would I accompany you to any social gatherings, as my goal in leaving Enterprise would be to eliminate as much interaction with you as possible. If you were to do such things, I would leave Starfleet in order to teach at a Vulcan academy or a Terran school,"

"Shit…why me?"

"I ask myself that every time I look at Lt. Uhura,"

"Did you love her? Did I…did I ruin all of that?"

"You ruined something that never could have lasted. I will not hide the fact that you did not help my romantic slump, however, you opened my eyes to a greater truth about myself, one of which I was unaware, and for that I thank you,"

"What if your dream, wasn't just a dream, Spock? What if it was… I dunno, something more telling than that?"

"You mean to imply that what I experienced was a premonition of some kind?"

"Something like that,"

"Would you care to elaborate, Captain?"

Jim didn't answer, just smiled and looked out to the star again. They stood there in comfortable, calm silence until a blue ring pushed back on the ship like a shockwave and Jim turned over, tugging the Vulcan closer to him by his uniform's v-neck collar. He smiled into the kiss at feeling Spock stiffen and opened his eyes to slits to see Spock's were wide in shock and the entire deck was overwhelmed by flooding light.

Yes, a premonition of types.

He pulled away, a euphoric halo still lighting the entire ship and creating endless patterns of constellations in Spock's wide eyes. It was rare for Spock to ever be animated about anything, and seeing him so innocently amazed made Jim's heart squirm and chest swell with pride. He cupped Spock's jaw in his sizable hand, leaning in and kissing him sweetly again, closing his eyes slowly only once he saw Spock begin to close his. How long they kissed or how deeply they did, when Spock returned the kiss or let his guards down enough to hold his hand over Jim's, neither of them could recall. They only pulled away when the light beyond their closed eyes faded and they found themselves huffing to catch their breaths. Jim smiled triumphantly,

"You're not leaving, Spock…I'm not letting you,"

"I am deeply confused, Command—"

"JIM, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SPOCK, JUST CALL ME JIM,"

Spock nearly laughed, but recovered quickly and replied, "Jim. I am deeply confused. Is this a lucid dream I am currently in the midst of, or have you reenacted the dream I told you about earlier?"

"Ugh, the latter, Spock, look, I'm not about to do this whole, 'let me analyze everything logically thing' with you. I kissed you, Spock, because you are more than a First Officer to me, and I don't think I could manage being your friend either. I want you to stay aboard, Spock. I'll do anything,"

"No one may know of this,"

Jim blushed, backing away a little. He hadn't expected to get Spock to agree so easily.

"And you are to join me in my quarters tonight to…discuss this further. For your promise of secrecy and a promise to no longer woe women of foreign planets, I will not resign from the Enterprise and we can possibly…make this work,"

Jim punched Spock's arm in the way he knew Spock hated and chuckled cutely,

"You got it. I never pinned you to be the jealous type, Spock…I've got a lot to learn, I guess,"

"Indeed, Captain,"

"Captain…"

"Yes,"

"…uhm…don't call me Captain," Jim looked out the window at the remaining afterglow of the supernova.

"Why is that? I have heard you are quite partial to being call—"

"I like that you call me Commander, Spock. Commander or Jim, that's it,"

Spock gave a hint of a smile, a perk of his brow and a nod, "Very well, Commander,"

"DID YOU SEE ZAT?" Chekov came running in, beaming wildly, "DID YOU SEE ZAT? ZAT VUZ AMAZING!"

Jim laughed again as Spock looked to him and reminded,

"After hours, my quarters. I will be anticipating your arrival greatly," He turned around, walking past Chekov and nodding at him in approval.

The ensign looked at his Captain with wide eyes and his grin still plastered to his face,

"VUZ ZAT NOT COMPLETELY AWESOME, KEPTIN?!"

He laughed, looking out at the bits of star floating around as he took on Spock's beautiful posture.

"That it was, Chekov, that it was,"


End file.
